We put all of our efforts into our creativity and it doesn’t turn out the way we want. How could we not feel completely devastated? Maybe we believe we did a good job, but we didn’t get the response from others that we were hoping for. How much longer until ________ happens? Or maybe we say, “It is what it is” and move on to something else without fully addressing what’s underneath.
What if we give ourselves permission to sit and genuinely experience all of our complicated emotions before attempting to alter them?
Consider the artist who just put an awesome song out that required many long hours. She feels alone and disappointed because no one seems to notice. She is proud of herself for being vulnerable and putting it out there but believes it was all for nothing. The only people who listened to it were her parents and two brothers. Maybe this isn’t the life choice for her. And if she’s really honest, this is why she never wanted to put the song out there in the first place. Because she knew it wouldn’t be good enough. Her voice would never measure up to others.
This can be really difficult to acknowledge and can be extremely painful. In this example, the artist recognizes her pride in being vulnerable, while also allowing herself to be complex by feeling disappointment at the same time.
We are afraid to acknowledge that we might believe the things we tell ourselves. But when we open ourselves up to hear our own monologues, we begin to accept every part of us.
My voice teacher, Dr. Emily Bridges calls this the “Connection Piece,” a time designated after each practice. She found that when singers didn’t acknowledge how they felt about their performance, they were more likely to stop and not continue practicing. They would give up because they would internalize the unaddressed parts of themselves that longed to be heard.
How can I get more honest with my creativity?
1. Identify your bent and give ear to all sides.
Generally, we either focus more on the things that lift us up, or the things that drag us down. We increase our self-awareness when we observe what we are telling ourselves. Be honest by noticing both the encouraging and discouraging messages.
Do you listen to your head, heart, or gut more? This may change depending on our season of life and our circumstances. But recognizing the benefit of our holistic self can further our creativity.
2. Keep a record of the thoughts and feelings that come up for you when creating.
Notice what comes up for you: criticisms, praises, concerns, annoyances. Be real with yourself and see how it affects you.
Examine the following questions:
What messages are you telling yourself? (Show compassion on yourself when addressing your inner critic. Understand that because you have been hurt before, your inner critic tries to prevent that hurt from happening again.)
How do you want to express it (song, dance, writing, painting, etc.)?
Observing our thoughts doesn’t mean we believe them as truth, but leaving them unaddressed may prove that we do.
3. Notice patterns and what they might mean.
Over time, when we give ear to these messages we begin to see patterns in our thoughts and feelings. These lead us to underlying beliefs about ourselves and the world around us.
4. Keep the patterns or toss them away.
Wrestle with these and determine how true they are for you and if you want to change them.
5. Retell the story through creative means.
What story can I tell using these messages in my creative projects? (Think about what you have been through, what would’ve been helpful for you, and how others will relate.)
Begin the journey of allowing your full self to be present in your creativity. When you do that you’ll be able to create more confidently and more freely.