Press into the Stress

You never really know how much is too much until you feel the effects it has on your body, family, home and friends. I didn’t anticipate my unhealthy food choices and stress catching up with me. At least not in the way they did. The pain that radiated in my chest told me that something wasn’t right. I took a Pepcid and assumed the issue was over; that is until the chest pains continued to show up. A few days later, I knew it was time to address this head on. I scheduled an appointment at the closest urgent care to see what was going on. By God’s grace, the EKG came back negative, but I knew that I needed to make some changes. Stress from my business and a busy at-home lifestyle should never eliminate taking care of myself. But sometimes it can be hard to identify when running around is our normal. We don’t even recognize it until our body reminds us of what we are putting it through. 

This was definitely a wake-up call for me. I considered what my life might look like if I continued at this pace for the next ten years. I could see myself being successful at my business, but having frequent health interruptions that take a significant toll on me and my family that would never be worth it. As I reflected on this, it put even more pressure on myself to do more and just added to the overwhelm. How would I know where to begin? Right now, I feel like I don’t have any margin left to give. I feel rushed to make the right decisions in order to get the results I want. Yet, I know that hurried choices will only produce temporary solutions that won’t work in the long run.

So here’s my plan: instead of creating a long list of to-do’s, I will press into the stress rather than avoid it. I believe the reason why I turned to unhealthy food choices (besides the fact that they taste good) and reduced exercising and self-care is due in part because I haven’t wanted to face my fears and anxiety. I’ve been hiding because I’m scared of what this fear and anxiety might mean. I’m scared of admitting that I’m afraid of what will happen if I let one or more of the balls I’m juggling fall. I’ve cashed in my personal time for more work and time with others. Somehow I was more comfortable believing I was invincible than human. The reality is I can’t do everything and don’t need or want to either. It’s important for me to know that I will still be okay even in my frustration and disappointment. I don’t have to pretend I can hold everything up in order to make it. 

If you are feeling similarly, please know that you are not alone. We were not made to do it all by ourselves. Other people will tell you what is urgent and necessary for right now, but only you can decide if it’s worth it. What’s too much and what’s not?

Pressing into our difficult emotions and circumstances means that we are accepting our reality, our finity. Not approving, but accepting. However hard that may be. This looks like taking time to acknowledge what is happening before trying to hurry and fix it just because we feel uncomfortable. 

This will be the first step of many, and starting today can make way for a healthier and more sustainable tomorrow.