“What if I fail?” “What if I’m not good enough?” “What will others think if they don’t like it?” You tell yourself, “I don’t have the time right now.” Yet looking back, you realize if you don’t plan, the time will never come. A rush of guilty feelings flood your mind as you recall how long it’s been seen you agreed to taking more risks. You are embarrassed and are tempted to believe that too much time has passed you by.
I’m here to tell you that it’s not too late. Whatever passions you have for creating have been given to you for a reason. It’s completely normal to be afraid and hesitant to step outside of your comfort zone into unknown territory. I personally have felt the same way. As a mom of two boys, I believed having a career and being a mom wasn’t allowed. I was convinced my children would believe I didn’t love them enough. This thought led to feelings of shame and sadness. I believed I had no choice. This was what I was meant to do.
But who told me that?
It was a lie I believed was true and I made it my reality.
What beliefs have held you back from achieving your goals?
In my coaching program at the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), I began to uncover rules I faithfully abided by that never suited me. I was challenged to find their source and decide if I wanted to keep them. It didn’t take me long to see that many rules I followed on a daily basis were my default. I hadn’t examined how much it affected my energy and my ability to choose the life I wanted.
Once I began to see what I really wanted, I became more conscious of what I didn’t want.
I had to give myself permission to dream again.
At times, you may find yourself putting restrictions on your dreams because there are too many steps involved. Or maybe it’s not knowing how everything will pan out. Or the financial investment it might take to get there. What if we gave ourselves permission to dream, like a kid, where the sky’s the limit? How would it change how we see ourselves and what we are capable of?
It’s easy to make compromises on taking the first step when you don’t know how to get there. But what if knowing all the steps weren’t necessary to starting something new? Planning is extremely helpful for new ventures, however, trying to figure out all the steps before beginning can be overwhelming and could lead to inaction.
So how can I take the first step?
- Observe (without judgment) what has kept you from starting.
Take time to really flesh out why you haven’t started yet. Perhaps it’s fear of rejection, or even fear of success. Quiet yourself to discover the messages you are telling yourself. Write it in a journal, tell a friend, draw. Do anything that will allow you to express what’s in the way and how you feel about it. Settle into your “why” without criticisms or shaming. Our minds and bodies have a way of protecting us from experiencing pain, even growing pain. Consider telling your mind and body that it’s okay to be uncomfortable, especially if it leads to your desired outcome.
- Discover deep down what you truly want (without reservations).
Have fun with this! Give yourself permission to dream the wildest dreams, try new things and decide if it’s what you really want. Also give yourself the “OK” to change your mind. Maybe something that used to bring you joy doesn’t anymore. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just a matter of discovering what you do want.
- Celebrate your dreams with someone you trust.
Acknowledging and sharing your deepest dreams requires vulnerability and courage. Therefore, tell people you trust. These friends may also be a great support to encourage you along your journey. Reassurance from others breeds confidence, and confidence is a building block for further inspiration.
- Take the first step or change paths.
“Allow your dreams to grow, change or fade, but never stop dreaming.”
Does your dream still suit you? Is it what you want for yourself? If so, try not to overthink it and think of the most simplistic first step to achieving your goal. For someone who wants to write a book, maybe it’s writing a list of genres you would want to explore. Photographer? Try taking pictures somewhere (even if you don’t have a professional camera, use your phone). Then set up accountability to make it happen. Accountability can be a friend, Google calendar reminder, or a sticky note. You know yourself well. Choose what is going to be most beneficial for you.
Dream not what you want anymore? No matter what’s happening on the journey, at any point you can change it. Don’t commit to it just because you’ve done it for X amount of years.
Ready to step into your dreams but want additional help? Let’s create a plan together to make your dreams a reality by filling out the form below.